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My dad quit his extremely high paying job as a corporate VP in 2007 for no real reason, and had to bring money to the table to sell the awesome house he had, in a buyer’s market (it finally sold in 2009) — the house was totally paid off, BTW, my parents could have stayed there for almost no monthly fee (just the HOA). He decided to move himself, my mother, and my disabled brother to a retirement community in another state (where I also happened to be moving), where there were no potential jobs. I try to love my mother, but she’s always been a physically, verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive drunk who smokes chains of cigarettes. She never worked because she said she was too sick, but we know for a fact that she was making herself sick with her addictions. They both used to use recreational drugs in irresponsible excess.

My parents moved into a house they couldn’t afford, in this retirement community with no job prospects for either of them, when they were still in their early 50s. I don’t know how they figured they’d be able to make ends meet on my dad’s pension, the math doesn’t even make sense, but I wasn’t smart enough back then to realize their folly. They didn’t consult with a lawyer or an accountant. My little brother is high-functioning autistic (has Aspberger’s syndrome and a seizure condition), he lives with them. He gets social security disability money every month, and my mother takes it and spends it on groceries and, mostly, wine for herself. None of them have health insurance.

I got a joint bank account with the parents so that I could transfer funds to them if they needed me to do so. As it stands now, I’ve given them over $3000 of my federal student loans (I’m in school), and I will never see that money again. The IRS levied the joint account when they failed to pay their taxes on the house sale and my dad’s pension. I just faxed the info to the IRS recently to prove I had control over the account and no money came from my parents. Levy will be removed soon. I will get a new account.

I’m moving out of the state we live in, even though my autistic brother still lives with them. My mother won’t sop drinking and abusing my father, and my father wants me to get a townhouse where I’m moving so that they can all live with me. He sends me articles about how baby boomers live with their adult kids these days to merge resources, even though he wouldn’t be able to bring money to the table to help me out (his entire pension is tied up in his house, a car, and his IRS payment schedule). He plays on my guilt a lot and tries to convince me that what he’s asking is somehow normal. I’m not even 30, and they’re not even 60. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. They’ve been making my life more difficult than it has to be for a long time, by both their irresponsibility and their abuse, and I’m tempted to cut them off, with the possibility of extracting my brother from the situation soon after I’m out.

Am I wrong? Is dealing with parents like this normal, and I’m just a selfish, ungrateful son?
Do you beat your children, too, Crystal? Do you steal their money and buy booze with it?
Crystal, I just read an answer you gave for a question asking about an abusive mother, you gave the opposite response. Stop using all caps and start exercising logical consistency.

My dad quit his extremely high paying job as a corporate VP in 2007 for no real reason, and had to bring money to the table to sell the awesome house he had, in a buyer’s market (it finally sold in 2009) — the house was totally paid off, BTW, my parents could have stayed there for almost no monthly fee (just the HOA). He decided to move himself, my mother, and my disabled brother to a retirement community in another state (where I also happened to be moving), where there were no potential jobs. I try to love my mother, but she’s always been a physically, verbally, emotionally, and mentally abusive drunk who smokes chains of cigarettes. She never worked because she said she was too sick, but we know for a fact that she was making herself sick with her addictions. They both used to use recreational drugs in irresponsible excess.

My parents moved into a house they couldn’t afford, in this retirement community with no job prospects for either of them, when they were still in their early 50s. I don’t know how they figured they’d be able to make ends meet on my dad’s pension, the math doesn’t even make sense, but I wasn’t smart enough back then to realize their folly. They didn’t consult with a lawyer or an accountant. My little brother is high-functioning autistic (has Aspberger’s syndrome and a seizure condition), he lives with them. He gets social security disability money every month, and my mother takes it and spends it on groceries and, mostly, wine for herself. None of them have health insurance.

I got a joint bank account with the parents so that I could transfer funds to them if they needed me to do so. As it stands now, I’ve given them over $3000 of my federal student loans (I’m in school), and I will never see that money again. The IRS levied the joint account when they failed to pay their taxes on the house sale and my dad’s pension. I just faxed the info to the IRS recently to prove I had control over the account and no money came from my parents. Levy will be removed soon. I will get a new account.

I’m moving out of the state we live in, even though my autistic brother still lives with them. My mother won’t sop drinking and abusing my father, and my father wants me to get a townhouse where I’m moving so that they can all live with me. He sends me articles about how baby boomers live with their adult kids these days to merge resources, even though he wouldn’t be able to bring money to the table to help me out (his entire pension is tied up in his house, a car, and his IRS payment schedule). He plays on my guilt a lot and tries to convince me that what he’s asking is somehow normal. I’m not even 30, and they’re not even 60. I feel like I’m being taken advantage of. They’ve been making my life more difficult than it has to be for a long time, by both their irresponsibility and their abuse, and I’m tempted to cut them off, with the possibility of extracting my brother from the situation soon after I’m out.

Am I wrong? Is dealing with parents like this normal, and I’m just a selfish, ungrateful son?
Do you beat your children, too, Crystal? Do you steal their money and buy booze with it?
Crystal, I just read an answer you gave for a question asking about an abusive mother, you gave the opposite response. Stop using all caps and start exercising logical consistency.